Apples of the earth in the dress of the bedroom

The French expression ‘Les pommes de terre en robe des champs’ means baked potatoes. Imagine the gloopy orange mess that is coronation chicken, a staple of spudulikes, filling an apple of the earth in the dress of the fields. Or an apple of the earth in the dress of the bedroom – which is what the 1869 Larousse calls them. A bedjacket potato. An apple of the boudoir. They may call them by a far more sensual name, but the French are rubbish at baked potatoes. The only tattie shop in Paris is a disgrace of lumps and cheap emmental. The best baked potato shop in the whole world is called Take It Away Spud. It’s represented here in glorious black and white by Miguel Arredondo :

Fittingly, Bogart was no stranger to a hot bedjacket, particularly one with Bacall in it. If you know how to whistle, go to Take It Away Spud, where even the coronation chicken is bearable, and the philosopher owner Mitch is a hugely benevolent employer of, as he puts it, the poor and depraved, of whom I was one.

Take it Away Spud, 31 North West Circus Place, Edinburgh, Scotland EH3 6TP

Today’s étoiles – punch with calf’s liver

Says French Elle’s Astromail :

‘Avec cette ambiance astrale, il est possible que vous alliez manquer de punch. Pour renverser la tendance, manger du foie de veau et des rognons de veau ou d’agneau.’

‘In this astral atmosphere, it’s possible that you’ll lack punch. To combat this, eat calf’s liver and calf’s or lamb’s kidneys.’

For breakfast?

 

 

 

Personal Urns – never forget a face!

In my first post, I mentioned an urn that was found on the metro, with the ashes still inside. So I started thinking about urns and I found this website:

http://www.cremationsolutions.com

They create urns in the image of your choosing, for example, you may elect to have your last earthly remains preserved in a cast of Barack Obama’s head :

Cremation Solutions say :

“Personal Cremation Urns for ashes are a new and exciting way to memorialize your loved one. Now we can create a custom cremation urn for ashes in the image of your loved one or favorite celebrity or hero, even President Obama!”

Or Mr Bean; or Margaret Thatcher; or Simon Cowell. Imagine sitting on a relative’s mantelpiece inside Simon Cowell’s head. Interesting. It is odd to consider a whole family, even in casts of their own heads, lined up in pride of place in the living (haha) room. I wonder if Cremation Solutions do discounts for groups. But would you want to snooze or have sex or eat toast or watch True Blood (well, yes, that would probably be appropriate) under the watchful eyes of your ancestors? Or even Barack Obama? Hoping for enlightenment, I emailed Cremation Solutions to ask if they had any customer reviews. They haven’t replied. Maybe they’re too busy with the urns, for they do pay great attention to detail :

“Personal urns can have hair added digitaly (sic) for short haired people, as in the sample of President Obama. For longer hair we can add a wig to your specifications.” Wow. Maybe they could do a Picasso-type version of your loved one, with one eye halfway down the face, say, or why not add an attribute of a favourite animal or mythological beast, an elephant’s trunk might be just the thing, or what about a unicorn horn sticking out of the forehead? Very decorative. Or they could colour the dear departed’s hair to match your curtains, for example. Lovely. At only $2,600 for a full-sized urn and $600 for a keepsake-sized one (fits in your hand baggage), these could be the perfect presents for all the family. ALL the family. Including the descendants. As Cremation Solutions explain : “Personal Urns for ashes combine art and the very latest in technology to create a family heirloom that will be cherished for generations.” Until the entire house is filled with the heads of the dead. Who could resist?